Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Guest Blog: Jess Haines

**I am so excited and Honored to introduce my VERY First Guest Blog written by one of my Favorite Authors Jess Haines. Thank you so much for joining me here at Urban Fantasy Investigations Jess**

The H&W Team Talk About Whether They’ve Been Naughty or Nice This Year

By Jess Haines


Hello there!  Jess Haines here.  I’m the author of the urban fantasy novel HUNTED BY THE OTHERS, and its upcoming sequel TAKEN BY THE OTHERS (coming January 4, 2011 from Kensington).  I’d like to take a moment to introduce you to some of the cast—Shiarra Waynest, the lead character, Chaz, her on-and-off werewolf boyfriend, Sara, her business partner, Arnold, a mage who occasionally lends her a hand, and Alec Royce, a vampire Shiarra meets in the course of her adventures.

Shiarra is going to tell you a little bit about whether she and her friends are getting gifts or coal in their stockings this Christmas.  Over to you, Shia!

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Shiarra:  Okay, I’m here, and—WHOA.

Chaz:  Do you like it?

Arnold:  What the hell is that?

Chaz:  It’s a reindeer antler headband.  With some added tinsel.  And bells.  I liked the Christmas lights.  You press a button here and it either blinks or stays solidly lit—

Royce:  Can I leave on the grounds that this is too ridiculous for anyone with an ounce of dignity to endure?

Sara:  No.  If we have to put up with it, so do you.

Shiarra:  Honey, could you maybe put those away for a while?

Chaz:  But… *puppy dog eyes*

Shiarra:  Err…

Sara:  Good god, you guys.

Arnold:  I thought I was overdoing it with the Santa hat.  Yeesh.

Shiarra:  Man, and I thought today’s topic was going to be uncomfortable.

Arnold:  Hey, I like this topic.  Put me on the naughty list!  I want some of that Santa’s coal bubble gum in my stocking this year.

Sara:  You’re so ridiculous, sweetie. 

Arnold:  I know.

Sara:  I was good.  I didn’t throttle my sister or let any of my clients or any of the people I was investigating get away with fraud or infidelity.

Shiarra:  I was sort of good.  Does it count if I broke a law or two because I had no choice?

Arnold:  Beats me.

Royce:  I suppose it may depend upon the circumstances and what you did.  I can speculate, but I’d be curious to hear what laws you believe you have broken.

Shiarra:  Yeeeeeeah—no.

Chaz:  Don’t worry, love, I don’t care what you did.  Anyway, I think I was pretty good this year.  I helped save some lives, tore apart some vampires…

Royce:  That’s not a rousing endorsement in my book.

Shiarra:  But it is in mine.  Keep up the good work, honey!

Chaz:  You got it, babe. 

Royce:  I almost wish it was possible for me to be ill.  Ugh.

Arnold:  You are such a Grinch. 

Shiarra:  No coal bubble gum in your stocking, mister.  You get the real deal.

Sara:  No kidding.  I’d toss in a few stakes and garlic cloves for good measure.

Royce:  Just try it, children.  I might have a few solstice surprises in store for you.

Arnold:  I don’t think anyone is interested in what kind of surprises you’ve got planned.

Royce:  Of course not.  The only times I ever see any of you are when you wish to steal something that belongs to me or when you come crawling to me for assistance.  I’m getting rather tired of this farce.

Shiarra:  You complain too much.  Are you trying to distract us from whether you’ve been naughty or nice this year?

Royce:  What?  Of course not.  I think it’s rather obvious where I fall upon the spectrum of morality.

Shiarra:  I don’t know.  You’re scary and occasionally mean, but sometimes you do nice things.  You donate to charities and you helped me a couple of times when you didn’t have anything to gain, even if it was in a really weird way.  I think you’re nicer than you’d like people to think.

Royce:  I have my reasons for acting as I do.

Arnold:  Such as?

Royce:  Cultivating donors isn’t a task done overnight.  Gaining the trust of a human that fears me—such as Ms. Waynest—is an endeavor that takes time and patience.  The payout is what makes the hunt worthwhile.

Shiarra:   …okay, I could’ve gone my whole life not knowing that. 

Chaz:  Don’t worry, love, I won’t let him touch you.

Royce:  Don’t be too quick to make promises you cannot keep.  You might end up on that naughty list, after all.

Shiarra:  I am all kinds of done with this topic.

Sara:  Naughty list.  The vamp is definitely on the naughty list.

Royce:  As if there was ever any doubt.

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So what about you?  Is Santa going to put you on his naughty or nice list this year?

Thanks again for having me and the gang over, Stacy!

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To read more about Jess Haines and the H&W Team visit her website at www.jesshaines.com
May 1 2010
January 4 2011