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Getting Inspired: Re-writing the B-movie
Five movies I absolutely must see…but maybe not in their entireties
I love B-movies. I really, really do. I think my debut novel, Sidekick, out June 1st, demonstrates the flavor of that love. It’s campy. It’s fun. It pushes the boundaries of reality. It’s just like a comic book version of a B-movie, with one big exception: nobody’s top falls off. Recently, I discovered some classic movies that had somehow escaped my notice, so I decided to create a To-Be-Viewed list. The following samples from this list are some of the most fascinating and horrifying examples. Please enjoy responsibly.
Oh! I’ve also thrown in some pretty fabulous movie posters…enjoy.
Before we begin: some of the trailers for the movies listed below can be found on the web, but I’m not sure about the whole legality of that, so I won’t provide the links. All the posters are from movies found in the public domain – which means, if you can find them, you can download them for free. Just don’t blame me if you do.
(Poster One: Gotta love women running away with their tops falling off. Classic. Poster Two: Would you look at all those ladies lying prone in bikinis? They’re just ripe for the leeching.)
1. Faster Pussy Cat Kill Kill (1965)
It seems that everyone has heard about this movie but me. From what I can glean, this film has it all: rogue go-go dancers (yes, you read that right), fast cars speeding through the desert, girls slapping each other…a lot, and when they’re not seducing poor lecherous farmers out of their money, they’re killing men with their bare hands. Really, you had me at hello.
2. Devil Girl From Mars (1954)
I can’t have a B-movie wish-list without an alien flick, and I have to admit the title has a certain panache….and it only gets better from there. You see, on Devil Girl’s planet they had this gender war which the women won. Unfortunately, the males who survived, lost all their sexual prowess. Who knew women’s rights had such unforeseen consequences? So Devil Girl has come to Earth to steal the planet’s most potent men. Get out your ray guns ladies! We need to protect Earth’s sperm!
(Poster One: Oooh, scary skull with bloody fingertips…or is that nail polish? Nail polish isn’t scary. And look! Another woman with her top falling off! I never seem to have that problem, but that’s just me. Poster Number Two: Did you read the captions? I…I have no words.)
1. The Big Doll House (1971) Women’s jail in the jungle. Do I really need to say more? Now, I must insist you go search for the trailer immediately – not, however, if you are under the age of 18. It’s quite the experience. In it, you will find mud wrestling, guns pointed at penises, inexplicable sexy-time dancing in jail cells…then…then there is this one scene where a topless woman is lying on some sort of slab while a snake dangles above her face, and yes, the snake looks a whole lot like something else. Someone fetch me my fainting couch. My poor heart can’t take much more.
2. The Wild Women Of Wongo (1958) Now this one really blew my mind. It starts, apparently, with Mother Nature getting experimental. She creates one island with brutish, ugly men and beautiful women, and another island with brutish, ugly women and handsome men. The two islands don’t know of each other’s existence until an attack from ape men on the handsome man island forces a messenger to cast off in search of help. As you can imagine all hell then breaks loose. Also, in the mix, is an angry crocodile god…to which I say, sure, why not?
(Poster One: Women trapped in spider webs. Hahaha. Terrible. Poster Two: What is that hand doing to her head? Whatever it is, it doesn’t look pleasant)
1. The Barbarians (1987) Now, women are not the only victims of ridiculous sexualized representations in the movies. So, for the men, may I offer this little…or, ehem, excuse me….big offering of cinematic goodness. You don’t have to view the trailer for this. Really, the poster is more than enough. So big. So twin-y. So homoerotic. Summary: the twins are part of a peaceful tribe of entertainers until one day, they are attacked by this sorcerer dude who kidnaps their queen, and…oh screw it, does it really matter? Just check out the poster.
Well, I hope you have enjoyed this sampling of B-movie wonders! Next time, we’ll make popcorn.
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Find Auralee and her books
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SidekickBremy St James, daughter of billionaire Atticus St James, has been cut off from the family fortune and is struggling to survive in a world that no longer holds its breath every time she buys a new outfit. To make matters worse, her twin sister is keeping secrets, loan sharks are circling, and the man of her dreams — a newspaper reporter — is on assignment to bring down everyone with the last name St James.
Things are certainly looking bleak for the down-and-out socialite until a good deed throws her into the path of the city’s top crime-fighter, Dark Ryder. Suddenly, Bremy has a new goal: apprentice to a superhero, and start her own crime-fighting career.
Ryder has no need for a sidekick, but it turns out the city needs Bremy’s help. Atticus St James is planning the crime of the century, and Bremy may be the only one able to get close enough to her father to stop him.
Now all she needs to do is figure out this superhero thing in less than a month, keep her identity secret from the man who could very well be The One, and save the city from total annihilation.
Well, no one ever said being a superhero would be easy...
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